This post is so emo it could cut your grass.

Alright, as some of you know I have had somewhat of a....rocky(?) relationship for about a year now.  While it wasn't actually THAT rocky as far as relationships go, it was stressful because he lived 2000 MILES AWAY FROM ME.  Yes. This boy (who has a name by the way) lived in New Jersey (his name was Duane haha, you thought I was going to tell you his name in the first set of parenthesis. NOPE TRICKED YOU!). Since I live in Utah, this makes for quite an awkward dating scenario. 

Well, I could go ON, AND ON about the trauma that the relationship had.  Suffice it to say, there was a lot, mostly because of the distance.  Also, because I had three kids, and I have heard that three kids can be scary to a single guy.  I don't know why, they are not very big, nor are they sneaky, so, I have never understood how they 'scare' people. 

Well.  We just really, officially, and for good broke up like for real, for real.  Most of you don't know this, but, Duane and I have been off and on for about 3 months nowish, and for the past 2ish weeks we were "just friends" (I tell you, it doesn't work.  Only Ryley can make it work.)  Generally, it was me running back after three days and saying BLAH I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU BLAH BLECH BLAH. And we would get back together. 

Well.  This time, I deleted him from facebook so that I could not stalk him (which, ps, I actually know his facebook password, so it is sort of a moot point, but it made me feel better about the situation), AND, whoa, wait for it, I took him off my FAVE FIVE on my phone.  This is officially a new age break up.  Just as our relationship was a skypeonship, the new rage of relationships. (Skype is a video chat program, for those of you who didn't get that reference).

The best part about the whole situation is that he is currently dating another girl, which is part of the reason we broke up.  Thank GOD my streak of having boys leave me for other girls has not ended.  I don't know what I would do if boys couldn't use me as a catalyst for new and better exciting relationships.  My identity would be taken from me. 

Alright, alright.  I am not going to whine anymore about it, and this is the only emo post I currently plan on writing, though I can't promise there WON'T be more.  As it is, writing sarcastically about the situation is stopping me from curling up in a ball with a tub of ice cream and bawling while the only coherent words anyone gets from me is "WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME".  Not really.  I am not quite THAT dramatic.

Ok, I probably am, but, not right now at least....

Also, I totally stole this from cutiemcbritish Colin's Tumblr.  And, it is kinda how I feel right now:

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life … you give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like “maybe we should be just friends” or “how very perceptive” turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love."

He didn't write it, it is from some show or play or something.  Probably something British and cool that we don't have here.  However, it is kind of how I feel right at this moment.

Except I don't hate love.  That is stupid.  I am actually in love with love, and I love to be in love, and I love to be sappy and stuff.  It is fun times.  Until...well I guess until it is no longer fun times. 

Alright, that is all folks. Move along, and forget this post ever happened.  There will be better posts soon. Sorry to go all emo on y'all.  Don't worry about it unless I dye my hair black and start wearing a floor length leather trench coat. 

Actually, scratch that, it would be AWESOME if I started to do that.  Think about it, I could get like leather pants and a leather shirt, and a laser gun, and TOTALLY be the heroine of a sci-fi.  I see, emo's are just the spaceship rebels of the future.  Very cool. 

Wow, this post is long.  Alright everyone MUCHLUF!!! <3