Alright, so I am still slightly freaking out a little bit. I knew that breaking up with Duane was going to hurt, and be hard, and all that jazz. I don't think I quite realized how much it would throw me off though. You see, for over a year I had a routine. I would come home, put the babies to bed, and then I would spend 2-5 hours of my night talking to the boy I loved, and hanging out with him. He was literally my best friend who I told everything to. If I had a bad day, he would listen to me beast. If I had stories, he would listen to me recount them. If I just wanted to sit and crochet, he would read a book, or do his vocabulary words or something while we just sat and chatted once in awhile.
Now that he decided that he wanted to move on to bigger (literally his girlfriend is bigger than me) and more exciting things (which I doubt she is, I am pretty FREAKING EXCITING), I don't have this! Not only did I lose the boy I loved desperately, but I lost my best friend! GAH! It is driving me a little bit nuts.
You see, I didn't actually think that it would be this hard, but now that the routine is broken, at 8:30, when we were usually talking, I find myself wandering around helplessly, wondering what to do. Thank goodness there have been new shows on again. They are my salvation (JACK BAUER I LOVE YOU).
That being said, last night I was in a bit of a rut. I went and looked on his facebook, which I shouldn't have done, because it just hurt my feelings. I am probably going to have to log in to his account and change his settings to private so that I can't see his page. And no, not really. I wouldn't REALLY do that...I am not a *cough* estalker *cough*. Ok, I am, just a little bit though. ANYWAYS, so I was feeling really down, and luckily, I have met a new friend who lives in the UK. I met him through little Miss Cornelia, and his name is Seb. He also stays up RIDICULOUSLY late (for him). He happened to be on skype at Duane and I's normal chat time, so I was able to vent it out to him. Then, Miss Cornelia got on skype, and we decided to do a three way video chat. This was quite amusing for the simple fact that we couldn't figure out how to get video AND audio at the same time. Now, I am sure you are saying to yourself "that sounds like the lamest and saddest thing anyone could possibly ever do after a break up." I ASSURE YOU IT IS NOT! It was super good times, and we laughed a lot, mostly because it was 7:00 in the morning for Seb, and midnight and one am respectively for me and Cornelia. It was some fun times.
So, thank you Miss Cornelia and Mr. Seb. I appreciate you helping me in my moment of need. Along with everyone else who has allowed me to rant, and prevented me from e-stalking. (Ryley, Kim, Colin, Seb, Cornelia............oh and MOM.......) As for now, this is what I think of every now and then. Only Duane would get it, and maybe Miss Corn, but enjoy the music anyhow.
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