Monday, November 30, 2009

Office Chair Olympics

Yesterday we went out and got a tree, and also had Katalina's birthday party. I am sure you are thinking that I am going to blog about that today, and if you are, you are absolutely.....WRONG! I actually have been a slacker and have not uploaded the pictures OR the video from last night, so, those things will have to wait until tomorrow, or the next day. Or both. Maybe I will split them up. I AM blogging everyday after all.

Today was my first day in a new job. While I could bore you with the details of how my day went (it was fantastic!) and what I learned (loads!) and what kind of policies they have (don't harass people!), I am not going to. I want to talk about one thing. How amazing the chairs were. The people who make office chairs make a variety of shapes, colors and styles. Anything to suit your personal preference or need. Having worked in an office setting for the majority of my adult life, I can assure you that I have sat in many an office chair. However, none can compare to this office chair I sat in today.

Picture this, you sit down, and all the sudden you feel like you are sitting in a fluffy cloud watching a rainbow while sipping lemonade. THAT is how this chair felt. It had a little partition in it, so your bum dipped in a little in the chair, and also your legs did too. It also felt like the inside was made of the memory foam stuff. I am sure it wasn't, but that is how it felt. It. Was. AMAZING.

Alright, so rule of the day: When working in an office, find the most amazing memory foam chair. If they don't offer them, don't work there.

Here is my share of the day: It speaks for itself:

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Bar Talk. Part Two.

Yesterday I regaled all of you with stories of what I heard in the ladies bathroom at the club the other night. While this is all well and good, no bar story can be complete without random boys hitting on you. Right? Of course right! The first story is actually from a few weeks ago, but, it is so ridiculous that it has to be recounted in blog form.

That night I went out with Ry right after I had gotten off work. Because I had been at work I was slightly more trendy than I usually am, but also in a sixteen year old sort of way, as I used to work for Forever 21, the clothing store. Anyway, I also had a flower in my hair (and I will admit, it was quite cute...). So, Ryley and I were at the Station again, and we had been dancing. It gets really hot when you dance, because there are lot of people in the club, and also a lot of people crowding around. So, we decided to go outside and stand by the fire pits. Well we get outside, and there is a retro nerd dude! Now, you know how I feel about retro nerds. And this dude had the whole thing going on, button up shirt with a jacket over top, hat, and glasses. The only thing missing was suspenders and a bow tie, and that could be fixed with a little training. So anyway, he walks up to me (mind you, totally drunk), and this is the conversation we had:

Retro Nerd: Hey, I like your flower in your hair, it is cute.
Me: Oh, well thank-you, I like your hat, it is very dapper.
Retro Nerd: What does dapper mean?
(by this point I am thinking in my head, WOW STRIKE ONE, but I wanted to give him a chance to redeem himself, he was after all, totally smashed, and I was perfectly sober)
Me: Well, it means very put together, kinda like Gene Kelly.
Retro Nerd: Oh. Who is Gene Kelly.
Me: Wow. You don't know who Gene Kelly is?
Retro Nerd: (Looking around for help because he knows he is sinking) Um, no, should I?
Me: Dude. You totally just failed in flirting with me, sorry. You just struck out.

So, that is how that conversation went. He did talk to me a few times throughout the night, but I also saw him hitting on another chickybean with a flower in HER hair, so I think it was just his conversation opener. Also, he never had a chance after he didn't know what dapper meant. I guess I am elitist that way.

So, back to Friday night. For whatever reason I was actually getting eyed quite a bit. Which is weird, because I don't really ever get eyed. I think it was perhaps because I had spent more than five minutes on my hair. You see, I WANTED it to have a wave in it, but I couldn't get it to go into a wave, but it did end up being curly. Whatever. It was weird. Well, we had been outside for the same reason mentioned above, and I had seen dude eyeing me out there, however, unlike normal girls, I did not return his gaze. I just gazed awkwardly away, and gave a fleeting half-smile. See, at a club like that the "eyeing" is not a "hey, you kinda look cute, I would like to grab a cup of coffee and get to know you". The "eyeing" is a "Hey baby, I want to dance sexy with you and then take you to the hotel across the street, put on some R&B music and get it on" type eyeing. I am just not that kinda girl. Also, I am a TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE flirt. My idea of flirting is sitting awkwardly together while I occasionally talk too loud and spill the drink on the table all over myself. It is certainly not giving someone smoldering looks and promises with my eyes. I am just not that put together. Anyway, Ry and I had been outside, and we walked back in, and dude came running up to me, which, props for him for following me in. This is how it went:

Dude: Hi, may I buy you a drink?
(Now, I don't usually accept drinks. Well, lets face it, I don't usually get asked to have drinks bought for me)
Me: Oh, I am sorry, but I am done drinking tonight.
Ryley: Let the boy buy you a drink! You haven't had a lot!
Me: But I thought I was done drinking?
Ryley: YOU HAVE HAD 2 DRINKS, you are fine.
Me: Ok, you may buy me a drink.
(dude and I walk over to the bar)
Dude: What would you like.
Me: Cranberry and Vodka?
Dude: Really?
Me: Oh, I am not usually bought drinks, am I not supposed to ask for that?
Dude: No you can ask for whatever you want, it is your drink....
Me: Ok. Well. Can I have a Cranberry and Vodka?
(Dude orders. We endure a slightly awkward silence)
Dude: I have to admit, I saw you dancing earlier, and it was quite sexy.
Me: Oh, well thank you. I thought I danced kinda spastically, so it is good to know that it is actually sexy.
Dude: Uh. Yeah! It is!
(awkward silence)
Me: Sorry, I am not good at this, I am pretty awkward in flirting situations.
Dude: It's fine. Wanna dance?

Ok, I have to pause right here, because I usually have a rule at the bar. I do not dance with anyone. I don't let boys dance up on me, that is NOT fun for me. The only boy who would be allowed to dance with me is one who came up and would start doing a modern dance routine to "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It" because that is SO what I would do. Alright, that being said, having let this boy buy me a drink, I felt like I was obligated to dance with him. *sigh*.

Me: Um. Ok, I think my friends are out there, lets go dance with them.
Dude: Ok sweet.
(we both walk over to the dance floor, I see Ryley and Megan and I walk straight to their group and start non-commitally dancing with the group. Dude comes up and starts to dance with me, then gestures me out further into the middle of the dance floor away from my friends. I am sure he wanted me to be all grindy grind up against him, but I JUST DON'T DANCE THAT WAY. If you want romance, do a freaking tango with me).
Dude: (realizing that I am not your regular skin bar girl) Um, this is my dance (proceeds to do some random dance, which was kinda cute cause it was an ice breaker)
Me: Oh that was nice, do you want to see my signature move?
Dude: (eyes lighting up cause he apparently thinks it is something sexy) Yes! I do!
Me: OK, you ready? It is called "The Pantomime" ( then do my signature move, which is something I made up in High School when I won first place in the state with my pantomime routine. Yeah that's right, I am a world class mime. Take that. Anyways, it consists of making yourself a box, and then sticking your head outside of the line of the box you just made. I made it up to make fun of all the other mimers who were not as good as me......haha)
Dude: Oh. Oh that's, haha, that's fun! (obviously he didn't think it was fun)
Me: (looking around as I had lost Ryley) Oh, where did my friends go?
Dude: Do you want to go find them?
Me: Yes
Dude: Ok, have a nice night.
Me: Thanks for the drink
(exit left)

So, yes. That was my most recent "flirting" experience. As you can see, I am not your average girl at a skin bar. Once again, I would rather be at a piano bar any day, but, it is fine, I like dancing too. I just don't like getting hit on. I am not in it for "the fun of the night". One of my favorite lines is having someone say something like "Your cute. Want to make out?" and me saying "Oh, well thanks. I have three kids at home. Still wanna make out?". Yes. I have had that exact conversation before. They don't ever want to make out after that. I have no clue as to why..... *sigh* I am never going to get married again am I?

Ok, time for the rule of the day! This is actually a recently learned rule: Never let a boy buy you a drink. It just means you have to awkwardly dance with him later.

Alright, and time for my Show and Tell. Now. I am not one to dance sexy. However, I will one day learn this dance with someone, and somehow randomly perform it in a dance bar. NOT. EVEN. JOKING.



Also, we know I love them, so, I am going to have another Show and Tell. Boys. Evan. Ryan. Please come buy me a drink. Or, I will buy you one. I am not picky. It could even be soda. Or hot chocolate. Or water. I promise lots of awkward conversations about musicals. You CAN'T pass that up.



Ah. You know how I feel about boys in suspenders.....I love them....you know, just in case you didn't know how I felt.....

Ok folks. Until tomorrow! Xx

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Bar Talk. Part One.

Picture this...a dark setting, hip hop/club music playing, a lit up dance floor, and any kind of drink you can get. Yeah, that's right. Ryley and I went to Club Allure yesterday. Now, I didn't used to like Club Allure (previously Sandy Station). It is not my scene. My scene is a nice piano bar with lots of retro nerds with glasses and suspenders on. My scene is not a dance club with drunk jocks hanging around hitting on equally drunk girls who are scantily clad. That being said, I have become accustomed to the Station. I like dancing, and Ryley can occasionally lure me there for Karaoke night, which I have fun doing.

Since I start a new job on Monday, we decided to go out last night for one last hurrah, as I will be working late most every Friday night from now on. Our "Hurrahs" are not really that neat, as they consist mainly of dancing till we drop, and maybe two drinks. Well, as the night goes on I always think it is funny to listen in to other peoples conversations. Since it is a dance club, you can't really hear other peoples conversations, however, the conversations I heard in ladies room last night took the cake. Here is one:

Random Girl: "Oh. My. God. My bra keeps showing!" (turns to look at other girl whom she does not know) "Sorry".
Other Random Girl: "No your totally fine, I hate it when that happens"
Random Girl: "I know! I mean, like, it can be fine if your bra is showing you know, like, that can be hot, but my bra is white, and I am wearing black, so like, that totally doesn't look good, it just looks trashy."
Other Random Girl: "Yeah I know what you mean, like, I agree, a bra showing can be hot but it has got to match your outfit".
(exit girls)

Ok, I am not very adept at the dating scene. I have never been one of "those" girls that knows how to do my hair, looks amazing in whatever she puts on, etc etc etc. So, I was able to pick up a few tips from this conversation. Apparently, it is NOT trashy if your bra is showing, as long as your bra is the same color as your outfit. In fact, it is hot if that is the case. But, it is totally trashy if your bra is white and does not match your outfit, and it is showing. Don't worry, I wrote it down in my "dating notebook" I keep with me at all times, just for these little gems.

That was the first conversation I heard in the ladies room. The second conversation was actually only part of a conversation, because a chickybean was talking on her cell phone. Quite obviously drunk. Mind you, she was also talking on the cell phone whilst GOING TO THE BATHROOM. A little much I feel, but it was a funny conversation nonetheless:

Chickybean on the cell phone: "So yeah, I said, if you could just PLEASE be a friend and come with me, and see this band with me that I genuinely love, and he WOULDN'T! He F***** wouldn't because they wouldn't let him bring his gun in! And I was like, so you would rather sit outside and clean YOUR GUN than leave the F***** gun in the car, and he said 'they are taking away my constitutional right to carry a weapon and I don't want to give my business to anyone who takes away my constitutional rights'" (chickybean pauses while she listens to whomever she was talking to) "I know right! It is the establishments CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT to say who they want to come in, and if they don't want someone to come in with a gun, then it is their right to say that he can't come in! So yeah, I was so mad at him, I mean, why can't he just be a friend. And he left, and I have to go get my stuff from him now because he had my purse and my Jacket."

....
......
........
WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE DOES THIS CHICK HANG OUT WITH?! Seriously, what kind of person really, really thinks that in this day and age they are going to be allowed to carry a gun into a dance bar? Do they think a gang fight is going to take place? For. Serious. I was a little bit amazed, and also slightly frightened. See, cute little retro nerds don't try to take guns into piano bars.

Now, other stuff happened at the bar yesterday, but this post is already getting a bit long, and, since I am blogging everyday, y'all will have to come back for the next installment of my night last night. Don't worry, I promise it will be worth it.

So, my rule of the day is this: When picking out undergarments to wear under your club clothes, ensure that they coordinate well with your outfit, so as not to look terribly trashy.

Here is my show n tell of the day: Ok, so I love Twilight, but I think I may love this dude too.

Be careful, it has some swear words in it. And really, I think this video is made funnier just by the accent. Nevertheless, I love Alex whoever he is. Please come marry me. I promise, I am not scary, I only have three kids, that's cool right?

Friday, November 27, 2009

Thanksgiving Thighs, Black Friday Eyes...

Wow, look at this. Two days in a row! Since yesterday was Thanksgiving, it is actually pretty easy for me to do my second blog because I get to just talk about Thanksgiving, and Black Friday. I am also kind-of lazy and intentionally planned the start of my blog this way.

Like many Americans, yesterday I celebrated the traditional Thanksgiving Day feast with my family. However, unlike many mothers, I did not get to have my children at the Thanksgiving Table with me. Due to the divorce, we had an agreement where we switch holidays every other year. I had the kids for Thanksgiving last year, therefore, he had the babies this year for Thanksgiving. I always hate this because it was the one thing I never ever wanted for my children. I don't like to feel as though they are shuffled between houses, let alone not being able to spend a holiday with one of the parents. Anyway, that being said, we managed to make the morning of Thanksgiving fun for them.

A little background first. Last weekend my Mom and I took the babies to the new WinCo store to go shopping for the upcoming Thanksgiving feast. Firstly, WinCo is amazing because everything is so cheap. We got a 25 pound turkey for 9.00, I am not EVEN kidding. So, we went shopping, and we got a TON of food. When we got home and were unpacking it all my oldest, Severian, was very excited, and started talking about all the things he wanted his Grandma to make for him on Thanksgiving. I had to very gently tell him that he was going to be at his daddy's house on Thanksgiving, but that Daddy would make him all the things he wanted. He promptly started crying and proclaimed that no one has as much food as Grandma did, and he did not want to go to anyone else's house! To make the day a little easier for him my Mom and I decided to do a Thanksgiving Breakfast with the babies, which were full of delectable treats.

Bright and early on Thanksgiving morning the babies woke up and my mom had fixed a breakfast of Turkey Bacon, Pancakes, Muffins, Toast, and Cinnamon Rolls. We turned on the t.v and watched the Thanksgiving Day parade together, and then I took the babies to their Dad's house. This turned out to be very nice, because I still felt like I had a meal with the babies, but, they were also not underfoot for the big meal preparation going on at my Mom's.

Once I got home I helped my Mom a little bit, and then got dressed up. I feel it is necessary to dress up for holidays, because really, when do you get the chance to get all dolled up on a regular basis? YOU DON'T, which is why you should always take advantage of a ready made holiday to get dressed up. Anyway, my Mom generally is the one who makes dinner on Thanksgiving, and I am very lucky that she does, because she is a great cook. I am also very lucky because I have grandparents that come to Thanksgiving, something I know a lot of people my age don't have. Really, our Thanksgivings are like everyone's. Food, fun, perhaps a crazy relative or two. The only thing this year was Thanksgiving seemed a bit off because we did not have my babies around to make funny comments. Here are some pictures of the event:

My Dad carving the Turkey:



Me and my Grandma and Grandpa (my mom's parents)



Me and my Grandma (my dad's mom)



My plate. I ate it all. Snap!



Everyone getting something to eat:



Needless to say, after the event I slept for 11 hours. I am not even joking.

Now, I did venture out a little bit for Black Friday, however, I am not one of the crazy people that were standing in line for Toys R Us, or Best Buy, or Walmart. I did the early morning thing last year, and while it was super cool, and I saved a lot, I didn't want to do it this year. Also, Black Friday for me has never really been to shop for Christmas, as I have two kids who have birthdays between Black Friday and Christmas. The third baby had his birthday two weeks ago. I am such a great baby birthday planner. Today, I woke up and got ready, then ventured out to do some shopping around noon with my Mom. The first place we went was Kohls. Now, I am a fan of Kohls because the outfit I am currently wearing is from there, and the whole thing only cost me $30.00. HOWEVER, they do not have much in the way of toys, and the stuff they had was more expensive than a regular day at Walmart. So, we went to Walmart. Surprisingly it was not super crazy there, until we got to the toy department. Here, it was a war zone. I half expected a Walmart worker to be standing right outside the toy department, hand me an Uzi, a helmet, and a shopping cart, and throw me into the fray with a pat on the back and a "good luck".

No really, it wasn't terrible, but there were a lot of people trying to navigate the bulky carts through the smallish aisles. Also, there were some quite rude people. Could someone tell me, please, why the spirit of charity, giving, and peace is completely thrown out the door once someone steps inside a shopping center? There was one lady who completely ran into my mom with her shopping cart, and didn't say, sorry, didn't say, "Oh my word are you ok?". No no, she said "Oops". OOOPS? Are you kidding me? Oops is what you say when you run your cart into the wall because you are not paying attention. Oops is not what you say when you run into a person. Baffling. All in all, I got Katalina all her birthday presents, and I got Severian all his birthday presents. And I even took my mom to lunch afterwards. It turned out to be a good day.

Now for the rule of the day! Wewt. See, I didn't forget, I told you I would always do one! My rule today is this: Anyday can be a Holiday if you make it one. Cheesy I know, but true nonetheless.

I am also excited for my show and tell of the day. I made these cookies for Thanksgiving, and they were excellent:



The recipe was really easy to make, and, seriously, they are sooooo good. You can find the recipe at a cute little blog here. Also, this lady is amazingly talented, take a look at some of her other blogs. She sewed herself a dress for goodness sake. A DRESS. HERSELF. wow.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Single Moms are Easy?

What's that you say? Why is the title of this crazy chic's blog "Single Moms are Easy?". Well my friend. I will tell you! First, for a little background. I am a single Mommy, with three kids, ages 6, 3 and 2. I have been single for about two and a half years, when my ex-husband left (while I was pregnant no less). Since then, I have been raising my three kids, and have recently moved back in with my Mom for a little extra help while I work and go to school.

That being said, I am also a young(ish) 27 years old. Upon becoming single, I found that there was a whole world unbeknownst to me. It was called "The Dating World". It felt like an uncharted territory that I had yet to explore. It was also full of strange signals, innuendos, and un-classified relationships. You see, I had never really "dated". I met my ex-husband. We fell in love. I moved in. We got married. We had babies. It was pretty cut and dry, and therefore, I had never experienced what dating life was about. In the past two years, I have run across many interesting dating situations. However, I went on a date rather recently that really had me quite baffled for days.

The date started out really well. The boy, we shall call him "Bob", took me out to a nice restaurant for brunch. This was actually our second date, and we were getting along well. I have never been one to be subtle, and I had let him know that I was not in it to be a NCMO (or, Non-Committal-Make-Out), and he had asked me out on a second date, so, you know. Whatever. Bob is younger than me, he is 22, so, the topic of single mothers came up. And I think I said something like "Your younger, why do you want to take a single mom out?" and his response was "Well, I actually like to date single moms, because single moms are easy." He then looked at me for a minute and said "Except you. Your not easy."

.......

I WAS FLABBERGASTED! What?! Is this true? ARE single moms easy? I would have to disagree on this one, however, it is very hard, and very lonely to be single. So, I can understand that girls would look for attention by running into the arms (or the bed) of some dude. However, I have to believe this is a bit of a stereotype....I hope.

In my experience, quality guys are few and far between when you have children. Many boys just stop talking to me after I tell them I have three kids. And, the general consensus amongst boys seems to be that single moms ARE easy. I mean, can someone tell me where the "Easy" sign is attached so that I can take it off? Please?

So, that is where this blog comes in. I have met many a young single mom, and we all have our stories to share. So, since it is quite cathartic for me to write, I am setting myself a goal. I will try to write a blog every day for a year, chronicling my life as a single mother. They may not always be long. They may not always be about dating. They may not always be interesting. However, there are a lot of young single parents out there, and I think that we are a group which is looked over, or misjudged. This is just my way of sharing how life is for one of us.

In each blog I am going to write a "rule of the day". These will be my personal dating or child rearing rules, which, are generally quite quirky. I am also going to have a "Show and Tell" for the day. This will be anything from a song I like, to a recipe, to a picture. Whatever I feel like sharing. It is my blog after all.

So. Here it goes....

RULE OF THE DAY: For me, it is always important to be honest when dealing with potential dates. Therefore, my number 1 rule is that I always tell the boy that I have three babies before the first date. I don't wait to spring that information on them because if they don't want to take me out on one date once they find out I have children, I don't want to date them anyway.

Here is my first SHOW AND TELL (wewt!): There is a British singer that I absolutely love, her name is Paloma Faith, and this is my favorite song of hers:



Well kids, catch ya tomorrow!

xx